Tonight Maddox and I had a chat, but here is the back story first.
Maddox still sleeps in his crib :). He doesn’t climb out and he doesn’t try to squeeze out of it. He is perfectly content telling us three times that he’s awake and just lays in there then talking with Blue Bear until we come get him. We really have no intention of moving him out of it yet (not sure about you guys, but I like my undisturbed sleep yet). This past weekend Grandma mentioned that he won’t be able to sleep in the pack n play anymore as he finally is growing out of it. I think our time for our crib is coming to an end in our near future. Knowing that – Maddox and I had a chat.
As we were getting ready for bed tonight in his room, I looked over at his crib and asked Maddox, “do you want a big boy bed”? He quickly replied, “yea, I want a big boy bed”, not really comprehending what that means. I told him that if we get a big boy bed the crib would go away. Still not really understanding what that means, “Mom, I want a big boy bed now.” I told him that we needed to go buy it. Maddox then got all excited that we were going shopping for his big boy bed (Maddox, excited to go shopping? Not my child at all 😉 ). I then had to explain that we would go this weekend to look.
Now granted, when I say big boy bed, he would be upgrading to a double sized bed with the intention that the bed and dresser are his forever. So this move is a pretty big move from the confines and security of his home base to a big scary bed all to yourself. We then chatted that it would be like sleeping in a bed like mom and dads. And I think that’s when a bit of reality set in. I told him that it wasn’t tonight and that he would still sleep in his crib. I think the thought of a huge bed all by himself was a bit intimidating but exciting at the the same.
After we read our books for the night on the couch, him and I hung out for a few minutes talking about his bed again. Then we started talking to the bugs and frogs as they were singing to us tonight. We talked about his book and his new flip flops and how Blue Bear needed a bath. He started to yawn and we went to wake up Dad from his recliner. As Dad and I went to put him to sleep, I stayed back as he always asks one of us to rub his back. As I’m rubbing his back, we talked about the good things of the day and prepped for our day tomorrow (Daddy has a late night at work). As I said my good night and started walking to the door, he said something to me that he never said in his life yet and pulled on my heartstrings “mom don’t leave me”.
As a mom (or any parent), that phrase has a much deeper thought. My gut check reaction in my head was that I will never leave you. I of course went back over to him and he asked me to rub his back again. We chatted more about the playground, Daddy’s big football he couldn’t take to bed, Teddy from down the road and a few other topics. This time, as I could hear him drifting, I told him good night, he replied good night. I told him, “I love you” and in his faint little tired voice replied “Love you”.
Good night my hero.